Teach Them Well

            John Henry Newman was an English Cardinal who died in 1890 at the age of 89. He began his life work as an Anglican priest and scholar; converted to Roman Catholicism in 1845; was ordained a Catholic priest, eventually a bishop and later named a Cardinal by the pope. Cardinal Newman was a deeply spiritual and joyful human being. He saw and celebrated the holiness of what we do in our everyday life: of how close we walk with God when we lovingly and consistently fulfill the duties associated with the many roles we play in the world; of how much we bring God into the world through simple acts of love, friendship and personal influence; of how often we attain sainthood not so much by our words but by our everyday actions.

            Cardinal Newman left us a beautiful prayer that I try to read and reflect on each day:

God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission — I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good, I shall do His work; I shall be a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it, if I do but keep His commandments and serve Him in my calling.

            God sent each of us into the world with a mission, a calling. As our lives unfold, we find ourselves in a garden — a garden we can call ‘our circumstances in life.’  It is a garden unique to our  own individual calling, our own personal life story. Our garden is the everyday ordinary time of our life. But in that ordinary time is our mission, our reason for being.

            And in our garden there are beautiful flowers. But instead of being called roses and tulips and orchids, our flowers are called children and spouses, friends and co-workers, students, patients, clients, parishioners — the list goes on and on. In the end, life isn’t about being the most successful or renowned person in our profession or field of endeavor. It’s about caring for and loving those flowers.

            Soon we will celebrate Father’s Day and I’d like to reflect on the garden of parenthood. I could say exactly the same things were we approaching Mother’s Day because what I have to say applies equally to mothers and fathers alike. It’s about the mission, the calling and the vocation of being a parent.

            When I baptize a child, I always tell the mom and dad that the greatest work they will ever do is to teach their child about God. And they will teach their children the reality of God not with words, not with books, not even by raising them in the Church. They will teach their children what God really is by loving them, unconditionally. Just like Cardinal Newman said — not by words but by actions.

            The Gospel tells us that God is love. Everything else we attribute to God is a semantic analogy — a metaphor to help our limited human minds grasp this reality: God is love. When a little child is loved that way, he or she knows in the depths of every cell of his or her being what love is — what God is. And by receiving that love, that child will walk through life with God close by his or her side — even though it may, at times, be in ways that we find hard to understand; even though it may be outside of the Church we love so dearly. And by receiving that love, that child in turn will teach his or her own children about God — that God is love; not by words but by actions.

            For those of us who have been called to be fathers and mothers, this very ordinary mission, this everyday job, is the greatest work that we will ever do. We may also be doctors, gas station attendants, lawyers, teachers and clerks, but the work of being a loving parent is our primary mission. It will have the most far reaching effects because if we do that work well, if we carry out the mission that God has given us to the fullest, our children will know God in their hearts; and that intimacy will be carried with them into the relationships that they will have during their own life journeys.

            This Father’s Day let us — fathers and mothers alike — see and celebrate the holiness of what we do in our everyday life; of how closely we walk with God; how much we are like our Father in heaven, when we unconditionally and consistently love and forgive and remain present to our children — the flowers that God has planted in the garden of our lives.

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Readers of this blog might enjoy these books by Deacon Lex. Both are available on Amazon.com:

Just to Follow My Friend: Experiencing God’s Presence in Everyday Life

Synchronicity as the Work of the Holy Spirit: Jungian Insights for Spiritual Direction and Pastoral Ministry